A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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