This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Randomize
