I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
