someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
