My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
