I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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