i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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