god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
