I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize