Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
