I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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