just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
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