Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(714): View more from California

he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday

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(916): View more from California

We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?

(224): View more from Illinois

story of my life.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.

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(519): View more from Ontario

Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning

(416): View more from Toronto

Thats for me to know and you to find out.

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(416): View more from Toronto

Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?

(416): View more from Toronto

I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way

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(804): View more from Virginia

Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.

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(510): View more from California

That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!

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