I'm jealous of your bromance
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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