seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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