two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
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You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
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Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
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