who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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