Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
we made out on top of his cat.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
