lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
