WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
