I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
