Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Randomize