Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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