I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
