why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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