i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
