totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
