I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
