so let's talk penis.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
