just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
How does one acquire holy water?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
