how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
