"it" just moved
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize