would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I smell like Dick and happiness
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
