I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
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She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
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A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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