i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Everything about him screamed your future.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
