Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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