I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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