That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
