ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Randomize
