I puked a lego.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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