i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
