My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
