How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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