We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
