My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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