You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize