I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
