First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
it was like his penis was on wheels.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
