all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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