Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
