so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
