oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I'm always down for nudity.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
