are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
