Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
