so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
