I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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