i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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