so explain again why im purple
no
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Ladies don't puke and tell
I am available for nakedness
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Randomize
