All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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