I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
