I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
