You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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