idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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