Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
