I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
