There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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